Saturday, 26 February 2022

How sanctions work. Apparently.


According to a ‘diplomatic source’ quoted in this story, one aspect of the UK’s sanctions against Russian oligarchs is to attack their lifestyle:

"They come to Harrods to shop, they stay in our best hotels when they like, they send their children to our best public schools, and that is what's being stopped.

"So that these people are essentially persona non grata in every major western European capital in the world. That really bites."

Leaving aside the distinct possibility that being prevented from undergoing the ‘education’ provided by certain public schools might be doing the children a favour, let’s picture the scene in the Kremlin, as Putin sits at one end of his legendary table and one of his favourite oligarchs enters to sit at the other end.

Oligarch: Zdrastvuytie, Vladimir Vladimirovich

Putin: Zdrastvuytie, Mikhail Sergeyovitch. How can I help you today?

O: It’s these British sanctions – they’re causing me a lot of problems. My wife, Ludmilla, had set her heart on some new soft furnishings from Harrods, and we were going to send Ilya Mikhailovitch to Eton. Even worse, my girlfriend, Natalya, is giving me a lot of grief about not being able to meet up with her friends for tea at the Savoy, and the restrictions on how much money she’s allowed to keep in her account mean she’s down to her last few thousand. We need to do something, Vlad.

P: You want me to nuke Londongrad?

O: No, I don’t want that. Apart from anything else, Natalya is there at the moment, even if I can’t visit her.

P: Just as well – no point nuking the capital which is doing most to help us with our finances. So what do you want me to do?

O: Well, if you could just see your way to calling off the invasion and returning the tanks to their bases, I’m sure that my life could return to normal.

P: Are things really that bad?

O: Oh, yes they are. Trust me on this, Vlad.

P: OK, I’ll get on to it right away. Anything else?

O: No, that’s all. Spasibo. I owe you one.

It seems that there are people who really think this is the way Russia works.

1 comment:

dafis said...

That little sketch tells us more about how our shallow useless ruling class think. That they fail to attribute intelligence and indeed a strong resolve to Russians in general is a massive lack of understanding. I can just imagine many Russians concluding that maybe London is not such a smart place after all - it smells and rains a lot. "Maybe we just build up our new reserves in a less hostile and volatile place".
The Greek economy could do with a big leg up so Athens might be nice. Or Istanbul where there is another mellow kind of dictator who responds well to being stroked gently. You'd be surprised how many locations would be tempted to give a discreet welcome to Russian wealth without making a big fuss.