Sunday 10 July 2022

Having multiple personalities might be an advantage


Some people are being very unkind about Grant Shapps, following his announcement that he is standing in the election to become Tory leader and PM. They seem to think that a man with three known aliases, under one of which he sold a ‘get-rich-quick’ scheme which many might think looks an awful lot like pyramid selling, is somehow unfit to become the UK’s leader. Leaving aside the question of whether being fit for office is an essential qualification for high public office anyway (and the last three years have demonstrated very clearly that, for the Tories, it is most definitely not), the critics might be overlooking the potential opportunities here.

Appointing Michael Green as Chancellor, Corinne Stockheath as Defence Secretary, and Sebastian Fox as Home Secretary would see all four of the so-called ‘Great Offices of State’ filled easily and instantly with people who would be utterly loyal to the PM, and who would know exactly what the PM was thinking without even having to ask. It might be unreasonable, though, to expect any discount on the salaries – proponents of getting rich quickly aren’t usually keen to forgo an opportunity for extra income. And as a bonus, what could be better for the country’s economic prospects than having a chancellor who can convince punters the public at large that there are easy ways to become very wealthy very quickly, with little need to do much by way of work? Whilst Stockheath is known as the sort of person who can give glowing testimonials to her alter egos, the hidden talents of Fox are exactly that, hidden. But that, in itself, would surely be a welcome change from the current situation where the talents of the incumbent, Priti Patel, are far from being hidden. How much better off the country would have been if they’d been allowed to remain hidden instead of being so cruelly exposed.

To those who think that appointing a man with three aliases and a record of selling dodgy personal enrichment schemes would be descending from crisis into farce, I have only one message. Just take a look at some of the other candidates.

No comments: