It’s probably my fault for having watched
too many episodes of Dr Who over the years, but every time I see a picture of the
Saj, I wonder how we got to a position where we have a Sontaran as Home Secretary. I’m not the
first to ponder the question. It isn’t
just his appearance; as I recall the Sontarans, they also had a rather loose
grip on logic – I can well imagine one of them supporting rules on immigration
which would have barred
his own father from entry and therefore prevented himself from getting into
his current position.
In the increasingly bizarre contest to
replace the Maybot with a downgraded new improved model, he is seen,
apparently, as one of the front runners in a race which is attracting new
entrants daily. He isn’t the only one,
however, for whom possession of operational logic circuits is seen as an
unnecessary extra. The Leadsom seems to believe
that what is generally referred to as a ‘no-deal’ Brexit is actually a type of
Brexit based on “making an offer to the
EU for things that were already agreed in the withdrawal agreement” – which
sounds like the current withdrawal deal minus the bits she doesn’t like. Meanwhile, the Johnson (along with several models
which appear to be cheaper copies), is arguing that threatening to breach treaty
obligations unilaterally will somehow encourage other countries to trust the UK. In any rational universe, the support
of the Trump would be the kiss of death rather than providing a boost, although
to be fair, in such a universe the Trump wouldn’t be in a position where its
views mattered.
There is one thing, though, that the Saj
might just have got right – the tail is indeed wagging the dog. It’s just that he’s identified the wrong tail
by pointing at Ireland. The real tail in
this case is the Conservative and Unionist Party, an organisation which is
apparently dedicated to making itself as obsolete and irrelevant as its current
leader. The dog, sadly, is the rest of
us, the intended victims of whichever defective model manages to impose its
dominance on the rest of the tail. Where
is the Doctor when we need to create a time loop in which to deposit all the
non-functioning androids?
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