Monday, 3 June 2019

Tails, dogs, and androids

It’s probably my fault for having watched too many episodes of Dr Who over the years, but every time I see a picture of the Saj, I wonder how we got to a position where we have a Sontaran as Home Secretary.  I’m not the first to ponder the question.  It isn’t just his appearance; as I recall the Sontarans, they also had a rather loose grip on logic – I can well imagine one of them supporting rules on immigration which would have barred his own father from entry and therefore prevented himself from getting into his current position.
In the increasingly bizarre contest to replace the Maybot with a downgraded new improved model, he is seen, apparently, as one of the front runners in a race which is attracting new entrants daily.  He isn’t the only one, however, for whom possession of operational logic circuits is seen as an unnecessary extra.  The Leadsom seems to believe that what is generally referred to as a ‘no-deal’ Brexit is actually a type of Brexit based on “making an offer to the EU for things that were already agreed in the withdrawal agreement” – which sounds like the current withdrawal deal minus the bits she doesn’t like.  Meanwhile, the Johnson (along with several models which appear to be cheaper copies), is arguing that threatening to breach treaty obligations unilaterally will somehow encourage other countries to trust the UK.  In any rational universe, the support of the Trump would be the kiss of death rather than providing a boost, although to be fair, in such a universe the Trump wouldn’t be in a position where its views mattered.
There is one thing, though, that the Saj might just have got right – the tail is indeed wagging the dog.  It’s just that he’s identified the wrong tail by pointing at Ireland.  The real tail in this case is the Conservative and Unionist Party, an organisation which is apparently dedicated to making itself as obsolete and irrelevant as its current leader.  The dog, sadly, is the rest of us, the intended victims of whichever defective model manages to impose its dominance on the rest of the tail.  Where is the Doctor when we need to create a time loop in which to deposit all the non-functioning androids?

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