The buffoon and his nemesis have both recently returned from their pilgrimages to the great man and his team in New York, although only the nemesis actually got to talk to him, and then only by pretending to be a reporter rather than the full-time politician as which we pay him handsomely. Both bring similar glad tidings from the mountain, although not only is this particular message not written in tablets of stone, it doesn’t appear to be actually written on anything.
Still, they’ve heard the message and we just have to trust them to have both understood the mind of the great man and interpreted it correctly. And we must believe that the great man has a settled opinion, uniquely, on this one particular issue, despite having reversed or revised his opinion on almost everything else.
He wants to do a deal on free trade with the UK, we’re told, and he wants to do it quickly. They also want us to believe that there’s no scintilla of inconsistency between his desire to rip up the US’s existing free trade deals and his intention to negotiate a new one specifically with the UK. In fairness to both the buffoon and his nemesis, I can see that that would make eminent sense to them. After all, they see no inconsistency between ripping up the UK’s free trade deal with its 27 neighbours and starting again with everyone else; why should the US be any different?
The detail of the proposed new detail is conspicuous by its absence. But again, for people who can tell us little more than that Brexit means Brexit, why would the mere absence of detail be any sort of problem? We can trust Trump and the US more than we can trust those pesky Europeans that we’ve been trying to deal with for the last four decades, because the US is special (although not quite as special as ‘us’, obviously), and according to the Prime Minister last week they even share our values (do try and keep up – those are the uniquely British values that she was talking about the previous week).The future is safe as long as we trust Boris, Gove and Trump. No problem there, then.